For the longest time I yearned to be still. I yearned to be able to incorporate that self-reflective, breathe in and be grounded type of practice into my life. I even had a sign made up to remind me (Yes, I was way ahead of the game on the Be Still movement. You couln't find anything that said that-I had to have a sign made. Now you can find the adage on pillows, coffee cups, necklaces and probably band aids!)
I was amazed when I would talk to friends who would tell me about their morning journaling with coffee before the kids got up for school (Sorry, I'm up at 5:45 for work...how does anyone get up before then for "still time" and simply not just fall back asleep?), the friends who had learned to say "no", so that they could bring stillness into their lives. The friends who had decided less of life was truly more.
I remember looking around and seeing everyone who "got it"- those people who could do it, who were good at it and seemed to actually have an enhanced life because of it.
I felt inadequate.
And then one day I saw it all differently. In a moment of clarity (perhaps a moment of stillness and self-reflection?) I realized that my kids were growing up and there was only so much time left with them under my roof, at my dining room table, in my car on the way to baseball games, dance lessons, and musical rehearsals. Eventually, the passenger seat was going to be empty.
I'm a busy person by nature. I prefer to be walking, anywhere and everywhere...all...the...time. I need to be, I like to be, going, going, going. If I have a half an hour before going to a movie, or picking someone up from work, I can go to three stores, write and address two thank you cards, get a book from the library, and bake a batch of brownies (Ok. Box mix and someone would have to take them out of the oven for me.)
Maybe someday I'll learn to be still, maybe I won't. For those of you who can, you have my applause, for those of you who think you need to but haven't figured out how...you probably don't. So go run those errands, take those walks, sign up for two committees and plan your parents 50th anniversary party and live the fullness of your life!
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